Emily in Paris - A Hundred Percent

I have my own boundaries when it comes to relationships: it has to be a hundred percent. Love shouldn’t be shared, and it shouldn’t be effortless. I always give my all to the one I’m with, and I expect the same in return.

I thought this was the fair and right approach to relationships. I believed so strongly in my own values that I began to assume others must want the same things I do. I even encouraged my boss to believe she could have someone who gives a hundred percent, instead of settling for being someone’s option or side dish.

It shocked me to realize later that not everyone is interested in serious relationships. Some people don’t want to give their all or expect a hundred percent from someone else. They just want to have fun, without the commitment.

Now, I wonder if I’ve been wrong this whole time in my own perspective to see that not everyone thinks like me. Was I being naive or even ignorant to believe that everyone should give or receive a hundred percent? Maybe the idea of giving a hundred percent isn’t the right mindset after all.

✍️: October 19, 2024

P.S. I have started rewatching Emily in Paris recently…

A Guy - and His Music

 

In late September, I met a guy who I had seen long ago on the internet before we matched on a dating app.

He barely communicated with me by text. Many times, I felt like I was ghosted. But when in person, our conversations went easier. We had a few things in common: we love traveling through forests, taking photos, listening to Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne and being open about who we are, including our sexual identities, which made me feel even more connected to him.

One thing I noticed was how music seemed to be a part of him. It was always there, playing softly in the background, yet somehow it became a part of the mood between us. On the first day we spent together, he asked me what my favorite song was. I mentioned Taylor Swift, and he turned on THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. We wandered along the riverside, the music quietly accompanying our conversation.

He had a beautiful smile! I love it when he gently smiled at me and looked away, as if he was trying to hide his shyness. I was shy and hid too. I just hoped my checks didn’t turn red.

As the day came to a close, I found myself wondering if we would meet again. I asked him, “Are we going to see each other again?”

“Yes, we will,” he said.

He gave me a warm hug before we went our separate ways, the memory of his smile and the music lingering with me as I headed home.