Coming Out

December 05, 2022

Coming Out - the heavy truth is finally exposed

Being a homosexual is weird somehow, for it seems it is a must that we have to come out, to expose our own gender identity to certain people, whereas we have never heard or seen those heterosexual people do. It’s unfair, but this world has never been fair since the first place. The majority have always ruled the world, when minority has to live in fear and been constrained.

Whatever, in another angle, coming out is like a special day for people like us, when we expect to finally be able to be who we really are after our announcement. Thought we don’t have to stay in closet anymore. We don’t have to hide ourselves like we are those wild animals who could be killed or captured whenever they are out in public.

Yet, the things straight people could have never understood, we are taking risk for this; for choosing to be true to ourselves. We are facing rejection. Possibly, we could lose people we love, our parents. And horribly, some of us could have been locked in room alone for a period of time or forced getting cured, for they thought we are sick.

Anyway, to unable to live the life for who we really are is a loss, the loss of our identity and happiness. We are human. How can we live a life by instinct just like animals do? Nor are we a robot. We don’t need remote control. We have our own thoughts and decisions. We need to take this risk standing up for ourselves. That is why we need to come out. I’m not saying that all of us have to come out for our identities. Make sure if we are safe enough to do so, both place and time. We don’t need to come out if it harms our security.

I have made decision for so long, for when is suitable for coming out to my parents. I have never meant to hide them. I just feel like it sounds stupid to suddenly come up to my parents and told them “Mom/Dad, I love man.” Like I have said above, I have never seen any straight people doing this crazy thing before. But, for whatever reasons, I don’t want them waiting for my marriage which they keep asking for years till now. I don’t want them expect me for more than what I am.

I don’t wanna keep holding on my secret to my coffin. I don’t wanna see my parents waiting for something I’m sure it would never happen. I don’t wanna live a life full of lie. I don’t wanna avoid eyes contact when I talk about my feeling. I don’t wanna use word “They” to replace the person I call “He”. I don’t wanna tell my parents that he was just my friend when the fact he was someone special. I don’t wanna stay silent when my parents’ opinion go against people my type. I don’t wanna leave my closet just to standstill, but to fly away and free coming back...

Questions I got from my mom:

1. How do you love? (I think she indirectly referred to thing on bed.)

2. How do you have baby?

3. Why do you break up with your exes?

4. Aren’t you afraid you would get murdered? (I laughed at her question at the moment hahaha!)

Our Nature

Date: March 23, 2019

Edit: August 06, 2019

When you heard the word NATURE, what come up to your mind? For certain, pictures of forest and green plants will be appeared in your head. But when it come to a topic of sexual orientation, NATURE seems to be defined to two different meanings which are opposed to each other.

Well, straight people said that being homosexual was one of a premeditated crime in order to lead human to extinction. To love the same sex was way out of the law of nature. the kind of that should be cut off.

I often left comments; told them that crimes mostly happened from discrimination against one another, and nature is anything which exist by themselves and made changed by no one. And it was not like the feeling of love can be taught or built. It just live inside us since we were born, and eventually we figured it out more and more as we grow up. Nature is not defined based on the act of majority.

However, just one of your finger is longer than the rest, it does not mean to be cut to the same level, but to be treated the same. Without one of them, it will be incomplete.

Why do we tend to be confused between FACT and OPINION toward NATURE?

Illogical, yet Common

When there is news about two same sex couple decided to be together, there are always those who come up to cheer them and discourage them at the same time.

It is kind of great thing that certain people decided to understand and willing to learn about the other opinion. It is also okay for people to disagree with things they do not agree with somehow. Yet it comes to surprise me when people choose to directly and indirectly insult the other because they have different way of thinking. And what amaze me the most is there are people who join that disrespectful comment like it is a usual thing.

Many weeks before, I saw a few straight people congratulated for the Legalize Gay Marriage in Taiwan.

“I’m straight. I have children, yet I support them. Love is Love.” Said a man which remain profile picture with his family; wife, son, and daughter. “I don’t mind if they are straight or gay, as long as they love each other.” Said a mother.   

They got so many Like and Heart Reactions, yet there were many Angry Reactions and offensive comments too.

“Go marry a guy to show your support then.” Said by many to the married guy above. “let your boy marry a man to prove it.” Added the other.

But why?

It sounded unreasonable and only made them look like a fool to said so; to tell a straight guy to marry a guy. Why should he be told what to do? So why should he marry a guy when he actually loves a woman. Why should he rule his son to marry a man as he grows up when we have no idea whether he love a girl or boy?

Guess they only live their life with those instinctive opinions, follow the old path, and they tend to be a bossy who love to constrained the other.

We all know it, right? We don’t need to be a dog to go against those who eat dog meat. We don’t have to be disabled to support people with disabilities. We don’t have to be a woman to stand for women rights. And we don’t need to be god to follow their path too.

Haven’t they known that they also don’t need to be one to support those who love the same sex. All they need is just humanity and be willing to open their heart to accept the other truth.

The majority does not mean the truth. What we have never seen does not mean it has never been happened. Learn about it before you have to judge blindly. 

Top or Bottom?

Date: March 17, 2019

Edit: May 31, 2019

Most of people may have already known that Top refers to the guy who love the same sex, but it is specific for the guy who is stronger and manly in the way they dress or behave. Unlikely, the Bottom refers to the weaker gay guy who is likely to behave as a girl. In accurate word, the Top plays as a man, and Bottom plays as a woman.

In Dating App, most of people tend to start a conversation with question “Top or Bottom?”. Curt and unworthy opening.

How do you feel to be asked those such as question?

The majority found this is usual to ask or be asked before they have to go for further conversation. They may think it is a waste of time to get to know people they have never plan for. And they end the chat immediately when they come to know the out of expected answer. Without word.

But have you ever thought that this type of question is really rude, and it should have never been asked at all? It is like they are asking for the position of sex, the how we would like to be in bed. Is it that necessary? It is suitable? Is it really okay to ask people you have just known or at the beginning of the talk?

We, LGBT, have always said “Love knows no gender. Love has no border.” So why does it seem so important to know the position of sex before we have to know someone new? Why can’t we just try to learn about each other first? Or can’t we just start a conversation in a dating app without the word SEX in our head?

Have you ever thought that the question of Top or Bottom is to ask for sex partner instead of a life partner?

Actually, when it come to love, the position of sex is not that really matter for those who love each other as long as they could get along. I believe that if two people really love each other, one would definitely be willing to fulfill one another’s need.

Have you forgotten? We don’t even care if they have the same sex as ours, so why does the position matter?