Feeling Down

While we are playing Warcraft or Mobile Legends, we would need to escape for a little while when we are short of blood. And if we force to keep going, our character is going to die for real.

In our life, there are certain events work in parallel. Likewise our emotion, sometimes it goes down really quick, where it does not feel the courage at all. For maybe it has been through too many battles lately.

We should know that it is when it needs a break. Give it time. Let ourselves maintain and earn back the energy that only time could fill up that missing part.

Keep pretending like everything is okay when it is not will not help any better, yet it backfires on the inside of us where it leaves us feeling broken even more. Soon or later, we are going to fall down.

It is okay to take a rest when we are exhausted. Sometime, we also need to hide ourselves behind our comfort wall so as to protect ourselves from any possible injuries. Do not feel guilty for it. Do not constraint ourselves on certain rules we may had set. It is always okay to break some of them sometimes. Do not feel bad to take another step when our energy comes back. Continue when we are ready.

Rainy Day

Hiding myself from rain in the building is boring. Waiting for the droplets disappear is like waiting for new season to come. Especially, it is really annoying when I have an appointment or to go somewhere urgent, yet I come to stuck in a place instead.

Except on that wet day, water from sky becomes more beautiful when it helps me getting chance to stay with certain people for a little longer. It is a pleasant when the sky seems to give me reason to linger a little more. That only question me if god is standing by my side. For this moment. For god knows my intention.

Wasn't I waiting for when the sky go clear so as to continue? to leave the building? Yet why does it seem I am disappointed when I know now I can finally go? I wonder if I wanted to reach the place anymore or just to be here? Maybe here with that person who I ever want conversations with. I want to know everything about him.

I am glad, at least he had shared me certain information of him which I know I could never find them on his Facebook or Instagram account. Or even on his Blog. I was secretly wish for more of this kind of occasion where I could learn more about him.

But who knows if he felt the same or not...

Shameful

Feel like I have dig down too deep, although I had told myself not to do so for many times already. Now I have seen the skull there, and it scares me to death. I escaped with fear and struck the ground I had made not long ago. The upper layer fell down and left me pain. 

Shame on me!

Wrong Room

Have you ever experienced entering the wrong classroom? How did it feel like?

To accidentally attend in the wrong room when we were in school for the first time was often happened for our carelessness or confusion. It got us stung and embarrassed when we came to realize we actually did not belong there. Yet, later, it amused us for the silly mistaken we had done. Perhaps, the new friendship began there, the kind of extra ones. Although, we had to started at another one.

But, there were certain rooms where we were really set to be or happened to be there, suddenly turned out to be so wrong for us. Just for us. It made us hard to blend or even to just stepped in.

Like when we were in high school, where students were classified. I mean the room for good, normal, and bad students. We were separated and categorized base on our score on each subject. Felt like we were indirectly insulted if we happened to be at the bad one.

Funny thing is that the problem was not there, yet it was when we were the worst one and got like a lucky draw to the best room which did not fit our poor brain at all. Or maybe god wanted to make fun of us? Guess.

Felt so proud to walk in on the very first day? and later to only realize we already became a donkey over monkeys out there. Thought we could climb? Get over it! No one disrespected us, we offended ourselves. That was how we were taught, maybe.

And then, found our foot were heavier on the next day and after. We hesitated to go in, for our own security and comfort. Thought. We knew that we could be stepped on to death for real. Not by their foot, but our own thinking. The thinking that kept holding us on and pulled us back from going towards it sometimes.

Maybe, it was where we wanted to give up, and maybe we wanted to at least try it out. At least. To disappoint ourselves. To know whether the complication was the room, them, us, or the class.