Time

Time was totally slow when we were waiting for it, and it turned to completely fast when we craved for longer. Time was cheaper when we have it so much to waste, yet it became precious almost every second once we found we were holding a few left or going to lose it all very soon. Then we started to know that our tear could not extend the time, our dread was powerless to beg for even just a few seconds more, and it may be gone forever.

Have you ever been in this such as situation when you knew that you had less than 24 hours with someone else you were really into? You might find yourself checking out your watch almost every minute. And just like “Oh god! I’m running out of time. What have I done days before? I have not told him/her what is on my mind yet. I have not touch him/her even once. I wish I could have more time.” Looked into his/her face more frequently, knew that you were going to miss that face so much, and wondered why you didn’t do it earlier. Staring at the very soft hand nearby, and thinking about holding it once until part in the upcoming hours. Just once for the last time.

Suddenly, I came to intuit what Elio felt like when the six weeks that was provided was close to an end, when Oliver was almost gone. I perceived the not-okay-symptom that finally forced him to call I WANT, and he had to go for it. – Call Me by Your Name.

What were we waiting for those passed days? To being regret later? Why didn’t we speak out what we always want or wish to say? Why didn’t we ask for what we need during the time was countless? Why did we have to watch as it go without trying to express it even once?

Wasn’t it now when we felt like the time was speedy and no amount of our affordability could ever use to pay for?