Meat Eater

Date: February 13, 2020

I had watched a video of Mike on his YouTube channel, Fearless & Far, when he decided experience taking a pig’s life by his own hand. For he thought that if we choose to eat meat, we need to understand the circumstances, both when we took a life, and when a life was taken.

It’s horrible and heartbreaking that we human, include me, are so selfish to steal someone happy life to fulfill our own passion of flavor. It’s even more cruel that we know it isn’t right, yet we choose to pretend like it is okay.

The video was so uncomfortable to kept me watching that I had to skipped it a few minutes there which later it questioned me why do I have to feel comfortable consuming them then? It only evoked me the lie I have always told myself that they are food, and I have no choice. I know they are just my selfish excuses.

However, if we experience watching them screaming before they lost their breath for us in real life like that, perhaps we would be more aware of the value of food meat that we should have not wasted  them at all. Even a small piece of it. And if we happen to take their life by our own hand too, maybe we wouldn’t even dare to have a bite.

My Worst Childhood Memories

This article was written for my professor in year 1, semester 2, on topic "Childhood Memories"  on March 09, 2018.

Edit and Rewrite: December 21, 2019

When it comes to talking about memories in childhood, the worst thing I have never forgotten was I got bullied in primary school. Classmates made fun of me, for I was the smallest and weakest one in class. I got pushed, laughed at, and abused on most of the day. Sometimes, they had locked the classroom's door and kept me outside until my teacher came.

The young me was dumb and coward. No matter how often I got bullied, I had never reported to my teacher or even my parents. I just kept it all to myself. Many times, I had asked my dad to stop studying, but I was rejected. I really did not want to attend that class anymore, nor did I want to step into that school. I just felt like I did not have the courage to be there. I felt like I did not belong to there.

The last worst memory I had was when I was once in classroom alone with those four classmates who had always bullied me. I was reviewing lesson before class when four of them stood over my seat, and they were discussing on how to annoy me. I just tried to ignore them and focused on my book, for I knew I could not do anything while they were twice bigger than me.

One of them started to take my textbook and threw it away while the other were laughing. I was really angry because I though they could demolish my book which my parents worked so hard to get it for me. I stood up aggressively and talked to them, but the other three stopped me by squeezing both of my hand and body. And then, the another one picked his flip-flop up and hit my head. I did nothing, nor did I cry. I just told myself to be patient because that was not my time.

Sometime, I wished I could remember at least one of their face, so I would be able to revenge them in some occasion now. But I could not, for it was long ago. I do not even remember their names. Maybe gods are just being kind to me because they know if I had a chance to revenge them, thought this thing would not end up easily. I may be in jail or hospital somehow. 

Extra: But now is December 12, 2019, when I am writing this again, I realize I was writing this with anger last year. Yet, after reading a book by Xandia Ooi, Be Happy, Always, I realize I am not that person anymore. Because revenge them only turns me to be the same person like them, the kind of people I wish to never be. And all I want is just to be at peace. I choose to let go, and be happy.

thank you Xandia, and your BHA...

Deal With My Unhappiness

When you find yourself unhappy, how do you usually do to help yourself better?

I was once very unhappy and stressful with my life. I found myself got easily frustrated and upset most of the time. I didn't like a lot of things. I knew it wasn't good for my mental health, yet I didn't know how to be at peace.

But, one day, in late 2017, when I attended my new class at PUC, I got chance to listen to a monk, a well-known one there. He had talked about a few topics, but I caught one topic as I was so interested in that. He presented about "How to stay away from sadness." It was like god brought him to save me at my lowest time.

He said, to be happy, we first need to stay away from unhappy things. And unhappy things are included unhappy stuffs, unhappy people, and unhappy thought. If it makes us suffering, we don't really need to keep holding it. Just leave it. Stay away from those negativities.

As soon as I backed home, I started to follow his advice. I packed all items which reminded me of my past memories and kept them at the bottom of my storage. I unliked and unfollowed all the pages in Facebook which often uploaded sadness quotes. Also those people who liked to post something bothered the peace of my mind.

I began to subscribe to those people who have always shared positive though, or those who worked to motivate the other instead. Most of them are about Buddha's quotes. For these things bring peace to my mind. 

I also filled my newsfeed with animals' photos, plants, and funny video. Especially when I realized I was in bad mood because these ways will help me reduce my stress or anger faster.

These are the tools I've always used to help me go through my difficult times. How about yours? Feel free to share yours in comment below... ;)