My Worst Childhood Memories

This article was written for my professor in year 1, semester 2, on topic "Childhood Memories"  on March 09, 2018.

Edit and Rewrite: December 21, 2019

When it comes to talking about memories in childhood, the worst thing I have never forgotten was I got bullied in primary school. Classmates made fun of me, for I was the smallest and weakest one in class. I got pushed, laughed at, and abused on most of the day. Sometimes, they had locked the classroom's door and kept me outside until my teacher came.

The young me was dumb and coward. No matter how often I got bullied, I had never reported to my teacher or even my parents. I just kept it all to myself. Many times, I had asked my dad to stop studying, but I was rejected. I really did not want to attend that class anymore, nor did I want to step into that school. I just felt like I did not have the courage to be there. I felt like I did not belong to there.

The last worst memory I had was when I was once in classroom alone with those four classmates who had always bullied me. I was reviewing lesson before class when four of them stood over my seat, and they were discussing on how to annoy me. I just tried to ignore them and focused on my book, for I knew I could not do anything while they were twice bigger than me.

One of them started to take my textbook and threw it away while the other were laughing. I was really angry because I though they could demolish my book which my parents worked so hard to get it for me. I stood up aggressively and talked to them, but the other three stopped me by squeezing both of my hand and body. And then, the another one picked his flip-flop up and hit my head. I did nothing, nor did I cry. I just told myself to be patient because that was not my time.

Sometime, I wished I could remember at least one of their face, so I would be able to revenge them in some occasion now. But I could not, for it was long ago. I do not even remember their names. Maybe gods are just being kind to me because they know if I had a chance to revenge them, thought this thing would not end up easily. I may be in jail or hospital somehow. 

Extra: But now is December 12, 2019, when I am writing this again, I realize I was writing this with anger last year. Yet, after reading a book by Xandia Ooi, Be Happy, Always, I realize I am not that person anymore. Because revenge them only turns me to be the same person like them, the kind of people I wish to never be. And all I want is just to be at peace. I choose to let go, and be happy.

thank you Xandia, and your BHA...